Kevin looked incredible. He was all that I had hoped for. His wet, freshly washed, hair gleaned under the artificial white lights of the football field.
“C’mon girls, let’s get going.” He was cool and collected. Complying, we walked towards his car, which was, of course nothing less than a sporty convertible. It was a spring night in May and it was just the perfect night to go riding with the top down. Tammy hopped right into the front seat, as though she owned it. Claire quickly hopped into the back seat leaving me standing next to the car awkwardly. Kevin motioned to the other free back seat saying,
“Hop on in”. A few seconds later the car roared to life and we were on our way to the roller-rink. The temperate spring air rushed through our hair, blowing it behind us and the stars glistened as though guiding us on our way. I smelled the distinctive smell of evergreen sap as we drove through the more heavily wooded side roads on our way. I couldn’t have hoped for a better night, and we hadn’t even arrived at the roller-rink yet. The passengers were all quiet. The road noise in addition to the radio prevented easy conversation. So much the better, I was in no mood to take part in any more shallow conversation with Tammy and Claire. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, and with my eyes and heart focused on Kevin.
Soon enough we arrived at the roller rink. As we pulled in, the town’s youth could be seen clamouring about outside, most likely taking a break from skating. Kevin pulled in and parked the car quickly, the car coming to an abrupt stop. The people, hearing the slight skid, quickly turned their attention towards us. First they looked to the car to see who had arrived. Realizing it was Kevin, they quickly examined the passengers of the car to see who had arrived with him. Suddenly, they were all looking at me. It wasn’t just my self consciousness, the girls were trying to figure out how I had managed to accompany Kevin to the roller rink. This was, of course, big news and was to be discussed in the rumour mill for many weeks to come.
We all made our way into the roller rink. I wasn’t a particularly stable skater. I could manage skating in circles but I was often thrown of balance by the younger kids weaving in and out of traffic. We rented our skates and sat together on a bench lacing them up. The more proficient skaters always had their own elaborately decorated skates. Kevin was not one of those who needed to be a proficient skater; his good looks sufficing to attract sufficient attention.
We skated delicately through the hoards of people waiting beside the rink. Kevin helped all of the girls over a slight beveling in the floor and on to the skating surface. We all held hands and skated four abreast. I got stuck holding Claire’s hand, with Kevin now two people away from me. While they weren’t particularly fancy skaters, they were faster than me. I started to lag behind. The floor was quite crowded and I was being dragged through the traffic. I struggled to hold Claire’s hand. I held her hand so tight, I could almost feel her pulse. But, in an instant I impacted with one of the slower skaters and I lost grip. I flayed my arms wildly trying to keep balance. I was so proud of myself when I won the battle to remain upright but now, Kevin was a half a rink ahead of me. In the crowds, I doubt he even noticed I was missing.
As he grew further and further distant from me I grew pensive. My hormones subsided for a brief moment and the voice of rationality came through clearly. Was I just an ornament that he adorned himself with? Was I just another girl who he could parade around with? I felt my mind fighting not to ask these questions. It was so much more enjoyable when he was just a fantasy of mine. Reality has a bitter way of souring even the finest soup fantasy can create.
Absorbed in my worries I skated absent mindedly. Out of nowhere, one of those young little speed demons darted in front of me. The next thing I saw was the ceiling of the roller rink with its mirror ball spinning slowly. The lights that spun off it spun in concert with the stars I was seeing as the result of my fall. I heard murmurs and some faded laughter, likely the result of my fall. Still dazed I started to make out a face in front of me. “Just great!” I thought. It was Kevin. He outstretched his arm and offered to pick me up. I rose dizzily.
“Are you all right?” he asked with a voice of genuine concern.
“Yes, just fine.” I was lying badly. It felt like I had just got a stern spanking, the likes of which I hadn’t felt since I was the tender age of eight.
“Are you all right to continue?” he asked. Eager to show him that I was still able to skate, I didn’t answer him verbally but just started to skate with his hand still in mine. I noticed that we were skating alone, just the two of us. I was timid to ask him where Tammy and Claire were for fear of reminding him that we were without them. Still, I wanted to know where they were, and how long this private skate was going to last.
“So where are Tammy and Claire?” I asked. He looked less concerned I was no longer dazed and I looked more composed.
“They’re over at the snack bar. Let’s go and join them. After that nasty fall of yours, the drinks are on me.” It was a kind offer but there was no way I was losing my private skate with Kevin. I had to come up with some good excuse and fast.
“No thanks. I’d rather skate it off if that’s all right with you,” motioning towards my left leg as though that was the injured part. It wasn’t the greatest work of fiction ever conceived of but it was effective.
“Sure, no problem” he said, looking into my eyes. With those simple kind words he sent my previous worries off behind me, under the wheels of my skates. We circled for ages. I skated confidently knowing that he was by my side. People weaved in and out in front of us but I was unaffected, finding stability holding his hand. The sounds of the roller rink disappeared off into the distance. I could only hear the sound of our wheels skating in synchrony below us. After some time he broke the silence.
“Say do you want to go for a walk?” Was he kidding? Of course I did. I answered him as plainly as I could, trying not to seem to eager.
“Yes.” He put his hand on the small of my back guiding me towards the exit. We passed Tammy and Claire.
“I’ll see you girls in a little while. We are just going to get some fresh air.” Tammy and Claire just nodded. Their relaxed demeanour suggested that Kevin commonly went for walks. We emerged into a flurry of activity with the younger kids trading baseball cards and the older kids talking and gossiping. We walked away quietly, with a few eyes monitoring our progress. With just a few steps, the roller rink was already far behind us. The noise of people talking was just a faint whisper, easily surpassed by a stiff night breeze. The lights of the roller rink were off in the distance and now looked only like a bright star on the horizon. The half moon was directly behind Kevin, his silhouette revealing his masculine form. I could see the moon reflecting off something ahead in our path. I never had a sense of direction. It took me several seconds to realize that it was Serenity Pond where Kevin was taking me. The incessant chirping of crickets welcomed us to the pond along with an occasional croak from a bull frog. We sat together on a large boulder which afforded us a beautiful panorama of the entire pond.
I grew chilled in the late night air. My body shuddered tellingly. I felt a jacket being laid across my back. By the dim light of the moon it took me a while to discern the football team emblem on the sleeve. It was Kevin’s football jacket. His right arm, which had placed the jacket on me, remained their providing more warmth. I certainly didn’t mind. It was the warmest I had ever felt, and the most comfortable. He reached his left arm across and stroked my face with his hand. Ever so gently he directed my face towards him. We looked deeply into each others’ eyes. The moon shone brightly in his steel blue eyes. His hand still caressing my chin he drew me nearer. I closed my eyes and we kissed with the light of the moon still managing to make its way dimly through my closed eyelids. I had heard of heaven, but surely, this is what it had to be like. Our lips parted and we continued to stare at each other for a few more minutes. I normally didn’t kiss on the first date, but this was Kevin and this was incredible. If there was any time for an exception to a rule to be made this was it.
“It’s a beautiful night” he said after an eternity of mutual contemplation.
“Yes it is” I said, calm at last.
He moved to kiss me again. I obliged, more than ready for seconds. I closed my eyes and we pressed lips heavily. I hoped to absorb as much of the moment as possible. I was thoroughly engrossed when his warm hand on my breast destroyed the sanctity of the moment for me. My eyes opened quickly. I was confused and unsure. I looked to my breast with his hand on it and then to him silently seeking clarification. Noticing my draw back, he looked at me calmly.
“You like me right?” Of course I liked him. What a silly question but I didn’t see what it had to do with the issue at hand. Speaking of ‘hand’, his hand still lay on my breast, not moving. I answered instinctively
“Yes I like you. I have for a long time.” That was probably the longest sentence I had ever spoken to him, and the most heartfelt. I guess I was hoping that he would see me for the feeling person I was; a person feeling very confused at the moment. My answer didn’t have the desired effect. He continued,
“Great, so do I. So you have nothing to worry about.” He pressed his lips against mine while his hand caressed my breasts. My nipples stood erect although I could not blame the cool night air, the cause was obvious. I was confused and petrified. I prayed that this was as far as he was prepared to go on this, our first date.
I didn’t say or do anything to stop him though. I was curious for one thing, but moreover, I didn’t know what to expect. Perhaps all males were like this. Kevin was so popular and well accepted that he had to be the model for all men. If I denied him, he would likely think that I was a prude and I didn’t have the experience to tell whether or not that claim would have been justified. Had he tried to go further, I’d like to think that I would have done something to stop him, but thankfully he didn’t.
We walked back to the roller rink and met up with Claire and Tammy. They looked at us both coyly and said knowingly, and in a sarcastic tone,
“So, did you two have a good time together?” This only confirmed my hypothesis that what Kevin did is par for the course. If they could be so calm and joke about it then so could I. Kevin and I both looked at each other and then first I then he, laughed sheepishly about it in response to the girls’ jest. That was my first real date. A night full of many wonders, transitions and naiveté, but such a night is enigmatic of youth.
