Tzipi Livni, known to some as the “Mossad beauty” was given the unenviable task of being the ‘chosen one’ to fix Israel’s P.R. problem. Israel’s most dedicated enemies would gladly admit this is a near impossible task.
I imagine she must have been walking along a Tel Aviv promenade and was wondering: “what can I possibly do to fix this?”
She is a seasoned politician and had to be familiar with some base truths that we dance around in public discourse.
- Men largely run the world.
- Men admit freely (in small circles or after 1/2 a beer) to thinking with their small head on most occasions.
Somewhere around the time she was passing, say, Gordon Beach in Tel Aviv:
Perhaps it was at this moment, as she perused a cosmopolitan beach vista, an idea came to her. An image flashed in her mind giving her a way of distinguish Israel from the backdrop of the Middle East in public relations:
She realized that when people thought of Israel they saw this:
When instead they should see this:
and some Israeli Entrepreneurs / Soldiers:
(Israel requires the mandatory military service of all its citizens)
Noa, Beny & Neta Alchamister both grew up wearing bikini’s like a second skin, living near to Tel Aviv and Eilat beaches , gave them a natural sense of the confident sun-kissed lifestyle.
Tzipi Livni resolved thus to promote Israel as a cosmopolitan, beach culture. Her argument can be summarized as follows:
[People of the world: Stop staring at our bombs and look at our boobs.]
I can already hear the collective gasps from all corners regarding my summation. I’m over 40 so I’m too tired to play the Politically Correct game.
So let’s deal with all the opposition to my statements.
Women, I’ll address you first. (I’m giving the guys a chance a little extra time to peruse the situation because I somehow think they’ll get distracted along the way.)
Feminists:
What a horrible castigation of Women’s Rights. Israel, with a poor track record on Human Rights, now further hegemonizes and circumscribes the freedom of these woman forcing them to conform to a waif thin body only to appease the Patriarchy.
I disagree with you (except the waif thin body part). I’ve seen interviews of them and I can tell you, they’re witty, intelligent and know how exactly how the world works. They are and never will be anyone’s victim. However, feel free to collaborate with the Israeli or Palestinian feminists that may agree with you. Also feel free to contact the Alchamister’s and ask them if they’re being victimized.
http://www.wrmea.org/2006-may-june/human-rights-palestinian-feminism-movement.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcia_Freedman
http://www.wrmea.org/2006-may-june/human-rights-palestinian-feminism-movement.html
http://bananhotbikinis.com/pages/bananhot
(If you speak with the founders of Bananhot, they speak English, — Israeli’s are taught English in High School — and you hear anything like “eze noodnik” in the background, they are implying that your questions of them are silly.)
People who dislike Israel:
“Look at those Israelis, lapping in the sun and surf, enjoying themselves while the Palestinians suffer.”
That argument is as old as the hills of Jerusalem and was tried, feebly, by Time Magazine. To make such an argument is to say that during an ongoing conflict, any success is a failure. Confused? So was I:
http://www.martincwiner.com/why-time-magazines-karl-vick-doesnt-care-about-details/
People who dislike Jews:
“Look at those horrible Jews making money; it’s all they care about.”
If the Palestinians feel that their standard of living is low, they need to fight for a democracy. The Jews fought for one in 1948 right after 6 million of us had been wiped out and won. What’s your excuse? Israel’s oppression, alleged or real, doesn’t cut it.
Now while the world readily shoots arrows into Israel indiscriminately, where is world support for the Palestinian people? Is the lack of support for the Palestinian people pursuing democracy and improving their lives basically the world’s way of keeping their favourite enemy and scapegoat in play?
If ISIS took over Cuba, would America be expected to make peace? However, the world seems content to leave Israel with a terrorist organization in their backyard, laughing at every futile attempt Israel makes to work an unworkable situation. The world, taken as a character unto itself, has opened its mouth when it should have remained silent and remained silent when it should have defended the Palestinian people from their own ‘leadership’.
Democracy is unarguably the most effective current system of raising the standard of living for a population.
Now, the United States generally accuses the Chinese of producing products of poor quality (after the US themselves exploit the Chinese to produce poor quality products). The U. S. though is also guilty of pawning knock-off models of Democracy in what I call: Bush-Democracy-Lite where voting=democracy.
A democracy is nullified if the votes are held with a gun to the voter’s child’s head and if the opposition party, perhaps wishing to deal with Israel, has their headquarters destroyed and their leader assassinated within the first 2 days on the campaign trail. The Palestinian people do not live under a democracy, nor have they ever. Meanwhile, the million Israeli Arabs enjoy the same standard of living as their Israeli brethren. In fact, an Israeli Arab sits on the Israeli Supreme Court.
Was anyone surprised with my use of the word brethren?
I mean, we’d hope just to call each other ‘nice neighbours’ at this point but no, we’re brethren. Now, I need to call in back up on this one. I’ve got Feminists after me and just touching on the Middle East will keep me busy. So, to prove to you that Palestinians and Jews are indeed brethren: According to Nissim Mossek, both Palestinians and Israelis alike share the all telling “Cohen” gene in their populations. Now, all you noodnikim (on either side), go argue with him. Find more details see below and then go bug him. Lechi… yala….
Nissim, gever ad gever, ani mistaer lasot lecha bayot eem noodnikim. Be-emet, ha olam maleh eem em. Aval, ani choshev she yesh lanu mashu beyachad (‘in common’?) (ha evreet sheli lo 100%). Lo chashuv, ani choshev she rak shneynu yodim ma zeh DNA. Ken noodnikim shomim al DNA aval hem lo meveeneem bidyuk ma ze DNA. Eem hem hevantem, ze yiheh sipoor chadash sham. Cheepastem yehudim mee col haolam ve hazartem la aretz. Ve anashim eem ha ‘cohen gene’, lo ichpat lem efes? Noodnikim. Kolem. Nu, yalla bye.
What can we agree on?
Can we agree the P. R. idea of “boobs trump bombs”, while ‘uncouth’, is an accurate summation of the approach to market Israel as a cosmopolitan swimsuit society?
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Can we agree that, despite any issues with Israel or Women’s rights, given the unfortunate way the world actually works: Is this strategy smart?
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How do you pronounce:
?
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What do I think?
I think Tzipi Livni is a P. R. genius and, crazier things have happened, it just might work. However, I do think efforts could better be focused elsewhere.
I think the core problem is that the Palestinians due to their current ‘leadership’ can’t form a government that represents their best interests. However, such a day may not be that far off. Palestinians can look to the example of Egypt and what was done with Twitter. If the Palestinian people, with the help of the world community, commit to plant democracy, peace will bear fruit shortly thereafter.
My Views on the Peace Process:
http://www.martincwiner.com/the-piss-peace-process-israeli-accent/
