Arctic Melt – This Summer's Blockbuster – Category: Reality

Arctic Melt – This Summer's Blockbuster – Category: Reality

 

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Star Wars Theme Song plays.
Text “Earth Wars :: Arctic Melt – A Lost Hope” grows larger and larger until out of view.

Announcer
Coming soon to an Arctic theatre near you… Earth Wars :: Arctic Melt – A Lost Hope.

Obi-Wan, Al Skywalker and Yoda observe a glacier where water is seen to be streaming on the surface and forming cracks can be seen and heard.

Obi-Wan
I sense a great disturbance in the force… as if thousands seeking the truth were suddenly silenced

Yoda
mmm yes… clouded the force is.

Al Skywalker
I can’t convince the people that they are the cause.

Yoda
Always with you it can not be done.

Frustrated Yoda waves his hands and two bottles appear float out of his smock. One is marked CO2 and the other marked AIR. There are thermometers inside. The thermometer of the CO2 bottle reads significantly higher than the AIR bottle.

Yoda
See you the difference young Skywalker?

Al Skywalker
I see it, but I can’t make them believe it.

Yoda
frowns
That is why you fail…

Cut to the white house. Count Condeleeza, Darth Cheney, and Darth Bush are present. Behind them environmentalist David Suzuki can be seen frozen in carbonite. Count Condeleeza has in her hand a hologram of a planet deluged in water with a mysterious floating sattelite marked USA orbitting it. She is kneeling before Darth Bush and recieving parting orders.

Count Condeleeza
Very well my master. I will take our secret plans and store them safely.

Darth Bush
They must not know what we are planning.

Count Condeleeza turns off the handheld hologram, rises and walks out.

Darth Cheney
I sense Luke Al Skywalker will come to me.

Darth Bush
When he comes to you, bring him before me. Only together can we turn him to the Republican side.

Cut to Air Force One where Al Skywalker is on board in front of Darth Bush and Darth Cheney.
The windows behind reveal an active battle field in Iraq. Al Skywalker is wielding a solar panel as a weapon.

Al Skywalker
I will not turn to the Republican side.

Darth Bush
Witness behind us, all is going to plan. Your puny environmental slideshow and oscar is no match for the United States Empire! Unlimited power!! Once again the Republicans will rule the world and there will be peace!

Darth Cheney
Come my fellow politician, it’s time to join us.

Al Skywalker
Never.

Al Skywalker throws down his solar panel defiantly.

Darth Bush
… then you shall certainly die.

Darth Bush grows enraged as the scene cuts to the Iraq battle and the Star Wars them plays.
T
ext “Summer 2008”.
Fade to black.

Further Reading:
http://www.rsc.org/education/teachers/learnnet/jesei/co2green/home.htm
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gA1taPWzhCJnHQ79DowKK3VwfqQwD90DNCBO1

 

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